When I set off to the western region of Uganda on official duty, my brief did not include discussions of “sex” at girls-only schools! But I found myself engrossed in a conversation of the controversial subject but not in the pleasant of terms. I listened more than I talked and only wished we could be more open about these matters as a society!! A story told to me by a nurse at a girls-only school among the many I had gone to visit did not only shock me but also pulled me out of the sanitized environments within which I have been discussing these matters for some time now.
The nurse’s conversation started in the most unlikely of ways. Having heard that I had come on a mission related to Law, Justice and Human Rights, this middle-aged woman felt moved to share a tale of her experience dealing with the criminal justice system. And then the shocker!! She had been arrested as an accomplice in murder! Murder of a child by the mother, who was a senior four student of sixteen years of age! This girl had produced the baby and with the help of a friend dumped the baby in a school pit-latrine where the baby was heard crying by other students who alerted the nurse. Police got wound of the story and arrested the student, the friend to the student and the nurse for the murder.
So, how did this happen? The nurse narrated that as other senior four candidates were taking passport photographs for attaching to UNEB forms, this girl stayed in the dormitory with a friend. Then, she went into labour and produced a bouncing baby boy. The friend helped her by cutting the umbilical cord thus helping her deliver properly. Then, confused with what to do next, the “mother” asked the friend to help her clean the place and then dispose of the baby. Scared of the act, the friend first refused but the “mother” insisted that they had to “save face” before other students came. And they both took the baby and all the “mess” (placenta and the other related issues) to the latrine where after dropping them, they cleaned the place.
So, how did the nurse know? She told us that she was alerted by a student who went to the latrine only to hear a baby crying from down (you know where). And then on discovering that there was a baby, the nurse alerted the Head Mistress who in turn called the police. Meanwhile, the nurse went to the dormitory where she found the “mother” very weak. On probing her, she adamantly denied any delivery forcing the nurse to examine her. On examination, the nurse confirmed her fears and literally forced iodine into her “womanhood” to stop the bleeding and also as a way of getting her to describe what she had just done. As painful as iodine can be on a wound, the “mother” of sixteen years of age succumbed and told the nurse the full story.
Before they knew it, police had arrived arresting the nurse, the “mother” and the “mother’s” friend. The hapless trio spent three days in custody until the “mother” told of the father of the now deceased baby. And everyone except her was shocked! The man responsible had since the incarceration of the trio visited the police cells among the sympathizers to see the prisoners almost at every turn of the hour and he was a brother-in-law to this girl. The police did not hesitate to bring him in, temporarily releasing the trio. The nurse however disclosed that he has since left prison having “settled” the matter.
And leaving this girls-only school, here I was faced with the reality, having argued for women’s rights to gender-equality vehemently and that abortion is wrong, evil and selfish and actually a violation of the right to life of the unborn!! An under-age impregnated by a trusted relative, incapable of emotionally and psychologically handling the new role of motherhood and does the ultimate sin and commits the mother of crimes; Murder! In my view, this is possible and is widespread in Uganda because of our very heavy and hypocritical moral approaches to the issue of Sex! From abortion, contraception to safe sex methods, we employ double standards as regards youths, of adolescent age who have not reached eighteen years of age. The lack of knowledge coupled with the fear of stigmatization and the illegality of certain recognized contraceptive methods and outright denial of realities have pushed us this far.
And back in a sanitized environment, I thought to myself, should we open up to these young-excited adolescents and tell them that there is such a thing as safe sex? Or shouldn’t we consider extending medical services, even reproductive ones to them? Perhaps, even consider how we deal with matters of sex when talking to these adolescents? Just why wouldn’t we empower these adolescents to say No to the sexual advances of their trusted relatives? And give them a home when pushed out of their daily homes for having decided not to allow!!!! Isn’t it time we re-considered the policies in place and the approaches we are taking in solving what is becoming a widespread problem and heavily pushed under the carpet?
Bwesigye Bwa-Mwesigire 
Brian
This is quite insightful. But I think the issue of sexuality for teens and young adults needs to be approached at different levels.
It is not enough to give them a safe haven to prevent them from being preyed upon by older relatives or other male figures. If this could actually help, majority of university girls would not be trapped in the cross generational sexual relationships as it were.
Personally, I think that a lot of these interventions are missing the mark because they have neglected the source of most of these problems: the FAMILY.
The Family is supposed to be the primary socializing and training institution of our society. In the past, children, both male and female were educated in different aspects of life, right from matters of sexuality. The gender roles were clear, and they were penalties for breaking these social norms.
Obviously, society is not static and a lot of things have changed; lots of cultures/norms have been discarded in the march towards modernity. There is so much family strife; with children being brought up in single families or by uncaring relatives. The few lucky couples who stay married tend to relegate the role of parenting to schools or the media (TV) and the peer networks to which their children belong.
All the above, I agree, must be targeted (peer networks, schools, media etc). But I think that if the family is not equally targeted, it will only be akin to treating the symptoms rather than the root cause of many of these problems.
As every scientist would tell you, it is often much harder to prevent a disease rather than treat it. I say, let us start with the family.
Last sentence should have read: As every scientist would tell you, it is often much EASIER to prevent a disease rather than wait and TREAT it.